Experiencing Good Grief in Singleness with Pam Luschei

Can single women grieve what they have never had, such as a healthy relationship?

Gain inspiration as you listen to the answer to this question on the Experiencing Good Grief in Singleness episode of the Single Christian Women Speak podcast with guest Pam Luschei, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, as she explains how we can grieve non-death losses, such as the loss of dreams and things that have not occurred.

Finding joy in singleness

Before Pam gets into the topic of grieving, she shares, “I am so grateful,” describing an uplifting portrayal of her life being Single & 70. She tells the listeners she is “Finding the joy in what I still have, while I'm grieving what I no longer have.”

Good grief in singleness

Good grief is a common expression, but can it be experienced? Pam explains grief and what good grief looks like: “When we love something and hope for something, and we are attached to it. And that can be a person, a dream, or a relationship.” She continues by sharing, good grief is when we can say, “Here I am with this loss of (naming it), then allowing yourself to begin to feel the pain, the sadness, all the feelings that do come with grief.”

It hurts when others don't recognize our grief

Many of us have grieved alone and in silence because our loss doesn’t seem significant to others. Pam explains a few losses our culture often dismisses that are still losses to be grieved, such as divorce, diagnosis, and loss of abilities and freedoms.

Physical effects of grief

The listener will find that experiencing grief can often affect us physically, including our brain, sleep, appetite, and immune system. But Pam encourages us to build awareness by learning how our bodies respond to grief.

Grieving in singleness - a need for fellowship

This episode is filled with hope for single women who struggle to be seen in the church, find their place, and step forward to contribute their talents due to shyness or a reserved personality. The listener will discover she is not alone in this struggle and be encouraged with an example of how to connect, join in, and be helpful to others while simultaneously finding her place.

Take advantage of professional counseling 

If you wonder if or when to seek professional counseling for grieving, Pam shares a few things you can consider: “When there is a period of time when you feel numb or you feel stuck.” Listen as she elaborates.

Grieving with hope

Pam shares a hope-filled message about grief being a process and breaks it down, reminding us that we aren’t going to stay there permanently. Grief is a process. And we are not alone—God’s promises are real and something to cling to.

Find out more:

Find more about Pam at https://www.gratefulyetgrieving.org and check out her free eBook, Grateful, Yet Grieving.

Pam has other valuable resources available, including free devotionals, a newsletter, and her book, Walking The Way, A 21-Day Devotional for Pilgrims on the Camino de Santiago, is available.

Additional Resources:

The Grieving Brain, book by Mary Frances O'Connor https://maryfrancesoconnor.org/books/the-grieving-brain

Find Pam on Facebook and Instagram.